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Wobbly Bits:
#selfloveJune

by Tim Mossholder via Pexels

Hi everyone.

I'm aging myself a bit here, but bear with me. You all remember the movie Bridget Jones, right? Of course you do. My reader demographic is definitely in the age bracket to be intimately familiar with the movie.

In the event that you don't, Bridget Jones Diary is a novel-turned-movie written by Helen Fielding, and the titular character is played by Renee Zellwegger. It and its sequels chronicle the trials and tribulations of Bridget as she navigates being a 30-something in London with a mother who is constantly reminding her that she's running out of time to get married and have babies. She's always too something - too fat, too old, too silly, etc. - to land someone. She also has horrendous taste in men.

That is until she strikes gold. She wears a miniskirt to work, and her charming, handsome boss notices and comments, stoking the flames of a would-be romance. Too bad he's a serial cheater and all-around prick. It really does seem as if Bridget is doomed to be alone for the rest of her life. 

Only wait, there's Mark. Mark Darcy (yes, this story was inspired by Pride & Prejudice). He's haughty, always acts as if he has a poker shoved up his ass, and struggles to express his emotions in a way that is even remotely coherent (not to mention his mother's terrible taste in jumpers), but he's fond of her which comes as quite a large surprise as he's treated her with nothing but disdain since meeting her.

One of the major themes of Bridget Jones Diary is that Bridget is not only "enough" as she is; she is more than enough. She doesn't need to be thinner, more serious, smarter, or wealthier. Who she is in that moment - no more, no less - is precisely who she needs to be.

This is especially prevalent in a scene (pictured right, click to see it larger) in which Bridget, attempting to hide her naked plumpness underneath a sheet as she gets dressed post-coitus with Mark, notes that she doesn't want him seeing any of her "wobbly bits." He informs her, "I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits," and then adds, "I think it's high time we had another look." 

Bridget is suddenly overcome with confidence because she's accepted - wobbly bits and all - as she is. In fact, not only is she accepted; she is worshipped. She flings off the sheet and flaunts her body in front of the person who loves her and the meat sack she lives in.

There's something so beautiful and wholesome about this exchange. It's simple, truthful, and it embodies the core values of the body-positive movement. 

I was thinking about this scene today, and I considered what I've been doing to celebrate myself and grow to love my body more. I went into Quarantine in April of last year with the goal of transforming myself into the type of woman that loves herself, inside and out, and I unfortunately have made little to no progress in that regard over the last year. 

We all know that I have a complicated relationship with my body. I've been fat since I hit puberty (PCOS-affected hormones are a bitch), and while my weight gain isn't astronomical, it does continue to climb despite my continuous efforts to curtail additional poundage. I have a lot of internalized fatphobia, and while I give others the respect and kindness that they deserve, I never give myself that same courtesy. I look at myself in the mirror and cringe, oftentimes saying something disparaging about my body out loud.

"Ugh, so disgusting."

"You are a walrus."

etc. etc. etc.

I'm so mean to myself. And what does that get me? I feel crummy, I avoid pictures, and I generally hide from the world in an effort to minimize offending other people with my size or inviting comments/judgment from them regarding my weight. It's easier to minimize contact than ask for people to be kind.

So. Here's what I'm thinking of doing. 

Next month, June 2021, I will be spending 30 days loving myself. I will take a photo of myself every day, post it on Instagram unedited (some coloring filters will be fine, but no tuning or excessive posing beforehand), and comment on at least one thing I like about myself physically. This will be incredibly uncomfortable for me because my typical reaction to photos of myself is immediate revulsion. Additionally, I've set a rule for myself to only take a single photo - no retakes - so even if I blink or catch myself mid-sneeze, it's getting posted.

To keep me honest, the rules are outlined below.

  1. Post 1 photo of yourself on Instagram every day for the month of June.
  2. No retakes. The first photo you take is the photo you post.
  3. No filters that alter personal appearance. Color-correction is okay if you're going for a specific aesthetic.
  4. On the post, you must comment at least one positive thing about your personal appearance.
Will anyone be partaking in the month of self-love with me? I plan to use the hashtag #selfloveJune, so feel free to participate and use the tag on your own posts. I'd love to see other people loving themselves!

Peace.
Stef.

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