Contemporary Political Skills

Hi all. As a fun little side note, I wrote this back in 2019, and it's been sitting in my drafts ever since. I thought it might be fun to post it anyway. I may end up posting something else this week, but I hope this makes you smile at the very least.

1,2,3, GO!

I found a fun little writing prompt on Twitter via @WritingPrompt_s, and it made me laugh, so we're going to give it a whirl!

Regarding formatting, I can't really be as specific here on Blogger as I'd like without HTML coding, but you and I both know I can't be bothered with HTML formatting since Myspace fell out of favor. I know we all love a scrolling header, but mama's got stuff to do.

Without further ado, here's the prompt.

Political Debates are now settled by feats of skill, somewhat like the olympics. Write about the current candidates for President. #writingprompts

— Writing Prompt_s (@WritingPrompt_s) September 14, 2019

FADE IN:
INT. CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC STADIUM - 9:59 AM

Uproarious cheers fill the stadium. Chants arise from the crowd as the proceedings continue.

BEN CLARK

Coming at you live from Centennial Olympic Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia with WVTU. My name is Ben Clark, and it's currently 9:59 AM Eastern Standard Time. In just one minute, our presidential candidates will be stepping up on the podium to put their skills in Improvisational Tweeting to the test, and let me tell you: the crowd is absolutely electric.

ANNOUNCER

Please welcome to the stage, Presidential Candidate Bill Anderson and his Social Media Manager, Devon White!

The cheering surges.

BEN CLARK

Okay, folks, they're coming out! All three candidates who have made it this far will be walking onto the field with their chosen support team members, and I am pleased by the diversity we'll be seeing in this group. Anderson is joined by his Social Media Manager, Devon White, and both of them are looking resplendent in custom-tailored Armani suits. Their red ties appear to be silk, but don't quote me on that. All I can confirm is that they look really sharp, and paired with their consistent performance over the last couple of days, I can only assume we're going to see more of the same today.

ANNOUNCER

Up next is Carl Benedict and his Executive Assistant, Michelle Lee! Give them a round of applause!

The crowd surges again as Benedict and Lee walk into view. This time the cheers are nearly deafening.

BEN CLARK

Up next is Benedict and Lee. Benedict's journey toward presidential candidacy has been inspiring as we all know, and he is absolutely beaming in his Burberry seersucker suit. Michelle looks to be giving a nod to her heritage by wearing an embroidered blue dress with a mandarin collar. Her support of Benedict has been less consistent than White's of Anderson, but that's not to say that it's been subpar. She's probably the most responsive in the online sphere than any of our other candidates.

ANNOUNCER

Last but absolutely not least is Claire Wallor and an unnamed team member. Let's show them our support!

For the third and final time, the roar from the crowd picks up only something is wrong. The cheers are quickly dampened by what seems to be confusion.

BEN CLARK

Everyone, I'm not sure what I'm seeing here. Our final candidate, Wallor, has stepped out onto the field... alone. No assistant. Does this mean she'll be operating alone in this endeavor? Surely not. Wallor has always been a bit of a wildcard in this race, but she's never been this reckless. Not only that, but she's wearing... leggings? And what looks like... an athletic top. I... don't know how to respond to this, folks. Completely stunned.

ANNOUNCER

Correction. Claire Wallor will be competing in the Improvisational Tweeting event unassisted today.

Hushed murmurs roll around the stadium. No one seems to know what's going on.

BEN CLARK

Leave it to Wallor to keep things fresh. I'm very interested to see how this plays out, folks. Let us know your thoughts with the hashtag "ImprovTweet2076." We'll be reading out some of your responses live on the air as the competition progresses.

ANNOUNCER

Candidates, please prepare your phones.

BEN CLARK

This must be some kind of publicity stunt. She's showing the people that she can be relaxed and comfortable in front of large crowds in high-pressure situations. Or perhaps she just wanted to be as comfortable as possible in order to focus fully on the task at hand. I know I'd have a hard time doing this event in heels.

ANNOUNCER

The first tweet is as follows:

(beat)

#GlobalWarning has been stopped successfully, but is it enough? Leaders are hanging us out to dry, literally. At least they have the capital to ship themselves off this rock.

(short beat)

Compose your responses... now. You have 1 minute.

The cheers rise once again to support the candidates as they race toward the perfectly crafted tweet. 

BEN CLARK

I really wish all of you listening in could see this. Anderson and White are slumped over their event-provided phone, White typing while Anderson observes. 

END 

Well, that's what I wrote back in 2019 before I went and disappeared due to my Masters. I read back through it, and it was actually pretty humorous. I may pick it back up at a later date and write some more, but who knows? Leaving it alone is also fun. We shall see.

Peace.

Stef.