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Exercise # 194 - And the Perfect Afternoon

Another emulation exercise. Here is a sentence from Katherine Mansfield's short story, "The Garden Party":


And the perfect afternoon slowly ripened, 
slowly faded, 
slowly its petals closed.

The idea is to keep the syntax but vary the adjectives / nouns / imagery. For example:


And the awful afternoon slowly shriveled, 
slowly chilled, 
slowly turned black.

Or:


And the perfect tea party slowly ground down, 
slowly began to become a tedious bore, 
slowly everyone left or else fell asleep.


Do as many as you can in five minutes.

Five minutes starts...... now. GO!!!

And the dreadful workday finally ground to a halt,
finally released,
finally granted its captives free.

And the glorious tea party sadly came to an end,
sadly emptied,
sadly left the rarely used teacups and saucers in the dishwasher.

And the fantastic concert abruptly closed,
abruptly finished,
abruptly quieted the venue.

And the beautiful morning glory gradually opened,
gradually extended,
gradually welcomed the sun.

And the playful puppy quickly rolled over,
quickly panted,
quickly expected a belly rub.

And the guilty toddler sullenly hid,
sullenly munched,
sullenly wished he had not stolen the brownie.

And the wooden arch gracefully bent,
gracefully covered,
gracefully provided protection for the couple below it.

5 minutes up! How many did you come up with? Share your favorite in the comments section!

Peace.
Stef.

Comments

Kevin said…
And the blinding snow slowly rose,
slowly twirled,
slowly spun away.

And the infuriating wall quietly weakened,
quietly crumbled,
quietly let words flow.

And the unvoiced accusation carefully coiled,
carefully tensed,
carefully bared its fangs.

Harder than it seems. That first bit of writing from Katherine Mansfield is near-perfect prose.

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