The Twilight Saga: New Moon - A Review

Before I get started with the review, here's today's exercise.

Exercise #98 : "S. Gossips"


"S." said he say they said something really horrible, and it got back to... Oh, boy... Who is "S."? Describe him / her. Why did S. say that? What exactly did S. say?" Show, don't tell. Write the scene.

Anyways, here we go.



I went to see New Moon with my sister, Jenn, and my roommate, Andy, last night. It was hilarious. I mean, absolutely 100% comedic. They were going for comedy, right? Right?



Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy a nicely shaped male torso as much as the next chick (or guy even), but when said torso belongs to a minor I'm kind of icked out by it. My favorite part, however, was when Bella fell off the motorcycle and started to bleed copiously from a wound on her forehead. Well, Jacob (For you oh-so-intelligent non-Twihards who haven't read the books or watched the movies, this is the minor I was referring to earlier. He's a werewolf who is in love with Bella Swan, the main character and is pictured left.) decides that it would be a good idea to dramatically take off his shirt and pat at the wound with the t-shirt. When this happened, my sister, my roommate, and I immediately burst into peals of laughter that filled the entire theater. Thankfully, the theater was relatively empty, and there was even a group of people behind us who were chuckling heartily as well. It seriously was just... ridiculous. It was better than the first, but that really isn't saying much.



One thing that was noticeably different was the directing style. The first movie was directed by Catherine Hardwicke (Lords of Dogtown, The Nativity Story), and I'm sure she's a very nice woman... but she is not meant to direct. It was apparent in every single shot, in the acting of the actors, in every aspect of direction during the entire film.



I'm not a really big fan of Kristen Stewart's acting style to begin with, but everything she did on screen was amateurish and inexperienced. Her main form of expressing emotion was to blink more times than humanly possible and sigh audibly every 4-5 seconds. Huff, huff, huff...Ok, Kristen Stewart, I get it. You're upset. Now, part of this is the poor acting ability of the actor, but I've seen her in other movies. She's not that bad. In the first Twilight movie, however, she is just dismal. That reflects the director's abilities to get an emotion from their actor. I can imagine as Kristen was doing a scene, Catherine was standing just off camera. "Look flustered! No, more! Huff a bunch and blink! Good job!"



Don't even get me started on Robert Pattinson. First off, I absolutely do not see what every teenage girl in the world has gone gaga over. He's alright, but he's creepy. I don't know the actor, so I'm not saying this about him personally, but Edward Cullen (pictured right) is a creepy, co-dependent, stalker who is pasty white and thin as a skeleton. Not my type at all. I just don't see how someone would find him attractive in this movie. I will give props to the actor, though. Pattinson has stated that he plays Cullen on the creepy side because, well... Cullen is creepy. hah



But I'm not here to talk about the 1st movie. I'm here to talk about the 2nd one. The Twilight Saga: New Moon. It was absolutely ridiculous. As I said before, it was hilarious. I've not laughed that hard in a theater in a very long time. Too bad it was supposed to be a dramatic romance.



There were some things that were better in this movie, though, than in the first. There was a different director, thank God. Instead of Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz stepped in to guide the cast and crew. Of course, there was an obvious change in appearances, specifically with the women, because Chris is, in fact, a man. Bella and her female cast members suddenly wore more makeup. Their hair was smoother and more flawless-looking. That actually kind of bothered me, but that's neither here nor there. Chris also seems to have an obsession with circling camera shots. Take an actor, stick them in the middle of a room, and then move the camera around them in a circle. I swear, I got dizzy a few times. On the other hand, Weitz seemed to get a much more genuine performance out of the actors than Hardwicke had. Kristen Stewart was still huffy, but much less so. Edward was barely in the movie, but he seemed a tad bit less iffy. There was one part where he and Bella were kissing, and they started grunting. It was so awkward and unexpected that I'm even chuckling a little now as I type this.



As far as the plot... Well, me and Twilight do not mix. I got to the 4th book and simply could not continue reading that drivel when she got pregnant with Edward's baby. Needless to say, the whole idea of killing oneself because the one you "love" has perished... It's romantic, sure, but I hate Romeo & Juliet. It's my least favorite of everything Shakespeare has ever written, but that's another blog for another time. Let's just say that I find it ludicrous.



In the end, I'll most likely refrain from seeing New Moon again... That is, unless I need a hearty laugh, in which case this might be the first thing I'll think of.



Peace.
Stef.


P.S. I just found out that they're in talks to make a TV series out of Twilight. Seriously??? You have got to be kidding me. A TV series? Really? I mean, REALLY? When did they think this would be a good idea? Sadly, a lot of people will probably watch it. Too bad Robert Pattinson (He's in talks to play Edward, of course.) will be typecast for the rest of his life if he goes ahead with this.