Skip to main content

The Beginning of Today's Blog Marathon

I'm behind. Harumph... My internet connection, as stated in my previous quick post via my cellphone, has been shoddy at best for that past couple of days (Thank you, Comcast for your stupid, inconvenient upgrades...), and things seem to be back to normal. But that's neither here nor there. In an attempt to catch up, I will be participating in an exercise posting marathon: 3 in one day!! hah Either way, check back regularly today for updates.

And so it begins.

Exercise #55 : "The Ironic Fortune Cookie"

The fortune in the fortune cookie read, "Elegant surroundings will soon be yours." This turned out to be ironic. How so?

Oh, depressing. So many thoughts immediately started flying around in this crazy brain of mine... The poor sap that I'm going to be writing about today is going to hate me. Really...

Time to write. Buhn bah BAH!!! (That was my attempt at onomatopoeia-ing a trumpet fanfare... And yes, I just made a verb out of onomatapoeia.)

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Ok. I fooled you all. teehee I was having a tough time coming up with this one, so, in an act of desperation, I went searching online for "ironic fortune cookie sayings" when I stumbled upon another blog whose author did the same thing I am doing now: going through C.M. Mayo's year-long list of writing exercises. It seems that she has since stopped with the exercises, but I thought I'd showcase her entry for this particular exercise. Interesting stuff.

Her post is as follows:

“God is an iron,” Spider Robinson famously – or infamously – wrote. At least he’s famous with science fiction buffs and gamer geeks like me. His reasoning went something like this:

felony is to felon as irony is to iron.

Since God commits so many ironies, he must be an iron.

Take my fortune, for instance. “Elegant surroundings will soon be yours.” I never place much stock in these things, and usually add the ubiquitous “between the sheets” afterwards. Hey, a guy like me doesn’t get paid much; I have to amuse myself.

Anyways, so I got this fortune recently. Elegant surroundings. I would have thought, if I’d thought about it at all, that it meant I’d hit the lottery and get a house. Or get a promotion at work and maybe get into a nicer cubicle, one with a view.

But no. Instead what I got was a lousy bonus, too small to do anything with other than drink up. So I did, of course. I drank the whole thing up. And then, like I’ve done a bazillion times before, I drove home. Never seen that tree before that night, though.

The inside of the coffin is really nice. “Elegant,” even. God is, indeed, an iron.


If you wish to visit her blog, click here. It has some pretty great stuff on there.

Blog post 1 of 3 finished. Whew!

Check back in approximately 2 hours for post 2 of 3. It's a good thing I don't have class today until 2pm. :)



J. M. Strother said…
When I took my future wife out for Chinese her fortune cookie read, "Accept the next proposal you hear." No kidding. Not exactly irony, but definitely strange. Prophetical, even.

Popular Posts

Soft Things

Exercise #105 : "Soft Things" Make a list of soft things. GO!!! This should be easy enough, shouldn't it?

Bonjour New Followers! Well met!

You'll quickly notice that I love lolcats. Don't judge... They're hilarious. Today's post is going to be pretty short, but it's purpose isn't for me to write, but for YOU to write! Tell me a little bit about yourself! Who are you, from where do you hail, what is your favorite thing about blogging or reading other people's blogs? Tell me anything you'd like! If you have a blog, don't fear the shameless plug! haha Leave a link in your comment and go visit some of the blogs linked by your fellow commenters. Speaking of your blogs, I've been going through my list of followers and looking at your blogs. There is some really great content out there! :) Let me just say that I am so humbled that you would be interested in following me and my project. You're all so wonderful, and I can't thank you enough. So get on with it already! Leave a comment about yourself!

"Yellow List"

Exercise #83 : "Yellow List" What things are yellow? Make a list. At the end of the five minutes, note the three you find most curious. Ah, yellow. One of my least favorite colors. I mean, it's nice and all, but there are so many versions of this color that are simply eye-raping. Anyways, on with the list. Things That Are Yellow: bananas school buses yellow bell pepper tennis balls Post Shredded Wheat boxes (see right) lemons canaries the middle traffic light traffic lines the sun cheddar cheese hay corn butter cabs #2 pencils grapefruit raincoats (stereotypical ones, anyway) bees squash yellow jackets (I HATE those things!) the yolk of an egg scrambled eggs or an omelet peanut M&Ms the Simpsons various flowers rubber duckie etc... So that's my list of yellow things! :) The most curious? Well... I'll go with... but none of those are curious! That's silly. Check back later today for my 5th Character Profile on Nolan Ha