The Beginning of Today's Blog Marathon

I'm behind. Harumph... My internet connection, as stated in my previous quick post via my cellphone, has been shoddy at best for that past couple of days (Thank you, Comcast for your stupid, inconvenient upgrades...), and things seem to be back to normal. But that's neither here nor there. In an attempt to catch up, I will be participating in an exercise posting marathon: 3 in one day!! hah Either way, check back regularly today for updates.

And so it begins.

Exercise #55 : "The Ironic Fortune Cookie"

The fortune in the fortune cookie read, "Elegant surroundings will soon be yours." This turned out to be ironic. How so?

Oh, depressing. So many thoughts immediately started flying around in this crazy brain of mine... The poor sap that I'm going to be writing about today is going to hate me. Really...

Time to write. Buhn bah BAH!!! (That was my attempt at onomatopoeia-ing a trumpet fanfare... And yes, I just made a verb out of onomatapoeia.)

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

Ok. I fooled you all. teehee I was having a tough time coming up with this one, so, in an act of desperation, I went searching online for "ironic fortune cookie sayings" when I stumbled upon another blog whose author did the same thing I am doing now: going through C.M. Mayo's year-long list of writing exercises. It seems that she has since stopped with the exercises, but I thought I'd showcase her entry for this particular exercise. Interesting stuff.

Her post is as follows:

“God is an iron,” Spider Robinson famously – or infamously – wrote. At least he’s famous with science fiction buffs and gamer geeks like me. His reasoning went something like this:

felony is to felon as irony is to iron.

Since God commits so many ironies, he must be an iron.

Take my fortune, for instance. “Elegant surroundings will soon be yours.” I never place much stock in these things, and usually add the ubiquitous “between the sheets” afterwards. Hey, a guy like me doesn’t get paid much; I have to amuse myself.

Anyways, so I got this fortune recently. Elegant surroundings. I would have thought, if I’d thought about it at all, that it meant I’d hit the lottery and get a house. Or get a promotion at work and maybe get into a nicer cubicle, one with a view.

But no. Instead what I got was a lousy bonus, too small to do anything with other than drink up. So I did, of course. I drank the whole thing up. And then, like I’ve done a bazillion times before, I drove home. Never seen that tree before that night, though.

The inside of the coffin is really nice. “Elegant,” even. God is, indeed, an iron.

End.

If you wish to visit her blog, click here. It has some pretty great stuff on there.

Blog post 1 of 3 finished. Whew!

Check back in approximately 2 hours for post 2 of 3. It's a good thing I don't have class today until 2pm. :)

Peace.
Stef.