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A Tip From My Sister and Passive Aggressive Grocery Shopping

As you know, I have spent the last few blog entries answering some questions from a zen magazine. Well, those are done, so now I'm forced to find a new topic. But then I thought, well... What interests me? What do I want to write about? And at first, I had no clue. I could go off on a tangent about opera or musical theatre. Maybe I could do another series of blogs focusing on a different set of questions. No. Ick. Boring. So then I talked to my sister, and she had some pretty good advice. She steered me in the direction of writing exercises, of which there are a plethora.

After a little bit of researching, I found a website:

C. M. Mayo is an author who, I must admit, I've never read (After finding this site, however, she's next on my list, once I finish reading The Red Scarf by Kate Furnivall). She has posted a year's worth of writing exercises -- you know, the ones that take around 5 minutes a day -- and I've decided to venture into the world of writing exercises. I have currently hit a dead end with the story I'm writing, so it will be nice to have someone tell me what to write for a change. This way, my creative juices will be flowing, and my brain will be more prone to non-crappy writing.

Well, without further ado, take out your champagne bottles! It's time we set this ship out on her maiden voyage!

Exercise #1: "Passive Aggressive Grocery Shopping"
Fred has high blood pressure, but Linda brings home some items from the grocery store that are not so good for him. Write the scene with dialogue.

.....Fred sat quietly in his easy chair, flipping through his wife's copy of Cosmopolitan. Apparently, in order to be a good girlfriend, a woman must send short text messages or else she's going to scare the guy away with her verbosity. He never understood why Linda read this crap anyway. But that was neither here nor there. All he wanted was food, and Linda was running late.
.....Just as he was about to flip the page, the sound of tires rumbled over the asphalt driveway; Linda was home. Finally. Throwing the magazine on the coffee table, Fred stood up and walked to the kitchen, waiting for his wife to come in through the garage door.
.....A few minutes later, Linda comes in carrying more grocery bags than she should have.
....."Hi," she said breathlessly, placing the plastic bags on the countertop next to the refrigerator.
....."Hi," he said, eyeing the bags' contents. "What all did you get?"
....."Oh, the same as always. Veggies, fruit and so on."
.....Fred began to rifle through one of the bags, searching for a quick snack to stave off his hunger until dinner was prepared. But what was this? Potato chips? Fried chicken? What was she thinking?
....."What's the deal with all of this crap?" he said, gesturing to the offensive bag.
....."What crap?" she asked incredulously. "They're groceries."
....."But what about this bag? Chips? Chicken?" he demanded. "Are you trying to kill me?"
....."Oh, that," she said. "That's just snack food. You don't have to eat it. I got it because I like it."
....."So that's a yes, then. You know I can't keep myself from eating this stuff."
....."What are you telling me?" she asked, putting down the jar of peanut butter that she was holding. "I'm being punished because you don't have willpower? It's not my fault that you have high blood pressure."
.....He couldn't believe it. Crossing his arms in front of him, Fred said, "You're getting all of this stuff just to shove it in my face that I can't eat it."
.....Linda rolled her eyes. "You're being oversensitive. Look at the rest of the bags. They're all filled with food that you can eat."
.....When Fred didn't respond, Linda continued. "I'll tell you what," she said. "I'll hide this bag somewhere where you won't find it, ok? That way you won't be tempted."
....."You shouldn't have bought it in the first place," Fred said, making his way out of the kitchen. There was no reasoning with her.
.....Fred resumed his position on the couch and turned on the tv, watching the sports channel.

And, 5 minutes are up. :) If any of you want to take part in this along with me, please feel free to post a comment on here with your personal exercise. I'd love to see other people's responses.

See you tomorrow.

P.S. Does anyone know how to get an indent to work on this site ( I mean, I used 5 periods which seems to be fine for the time being, but... blech... Not very pretty in the end. Any help would be greatly appreciated.


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