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Catch-Up Pt. Deux

OK. Back to the unhappiness with my current friend situation...

For the past couple weeks, I've had this general feeling of unrest when it came to my relationships. As I said, I'm really attached to the people I love, and I work for every relationship that I do have. Unfortunately, my friends don't. At least, they haven't been lately. I don't know what it is. You see, this weekend I had a pretty amazing get-together planned in order to celebrate my birthday being that I'll be spending all of it and the next day at the Schermerhorn for Christmas at Belmont. It was supposed to happen at my dad's farm over in Perry County, TN, which is about 1 and 1/2 hours away from Nashville. Anyways, there was going to be a bonfire, games, movies, etc. etc. etc... But come Saturday, 3 people cancel a mere matter of hours before we're supposed to meet. I then start calling people to make sure that they are still able to make it, and another person tells me that it's best that he doesn't go. Now, I understand business. I get it. I'm busy, too. But you should have told me earlier-- before my dad went down to the farm ON A WORK DAY to clean, chop freaking wood, and generally prepare-- that you wouldn't be able to make it. That's just inconsiderate, and it breaks my heart. I've not been this disappointed in people in a while. I felt so bad, because my dad put so much work into it... I was so excited, too.

It really makes me feel taken advantage of, and it makes my self worth completely plummet when my friends don't even try.

It's not even the birthday thing. This has happened more than once. Someone says they're going to be somewhere, and then, inexplicably, they're not. I feel like, if I were to disappear-- just go away-- for a month, only my family would notice. Granted, they'd search like hell for me, but they'd be the only ones.

There's more, but I'm kind of down, now, and am going to go read or something else that will raise my spirits.

I've been writing a bit, and I'm excited about what I've been writing. :)

~Stef

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