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Being Fat on the Internet

*whispers* Hey there, you. Yes, you. I have a secret to tell you.

*leans in close, the fear practically leaping out of my eyes*

I'm fat.

I know, it must come as a shock to you. Fat? Stef? FAT???

Me, after someone tells me I'm fat like I don't already know it.

In all seriousness, I had an adventure on Twitter today that I wanted to share with you.

It all started with 1 simple tweet.
Doesn't it always?


Without going into the nitty-gritty, I don't like Chris Brown. I will admit that he has made some good songs, but I can honestly say that I haven't listened to a second of his music since 2009 when he did this to Rihanna.


In the midst of the #metoo movement, I am absolutely nonplussed as to why he still has a career. Yet there he is, successful, popular, and moderately unfazed after brutalizing a woman within an inch of her life.

But that's not what this blog post is about.

Now, I had no idea that my tweet would gain traction, but oh my. Did it ever. Almost immediately, I started getting not only an overwhelming amount of likes but also a fair amount of hate being thrown my way. I had somehow stumbled into the throes of an all-out war between members of Black Twitter debating whether Chris Brown should have a career or not.

Over 1k likes, 22 RTs, and many, many, many responses later, I was introduced to this lovely individual (read: dripping, intense sarcasm).

Word to the wise:
Never engage someone on Twitter
who is a self-proclaimed "Spoiled Brat."
It never ends well.
I obviously did not take my own advice here...

The below screenshots are my conversation with this classy individual.

...

This, my dearest friends and readers, is what it is like to be "Fat on the Internet." Here are the rules:
  1. I am not allowed to have an opinion without someone suggesting that my opinion is invalid due to my fatness.
  2. If I show any sign of weakness after being called (GASP!!!) fat, then I have invalidated my own opinion.
  3. I am not worth respect and kindness because I am fat. 
I'd love to tell you that this type of encounter is uncommon, but it's not. And it's not gender-specific, though it does tend to come from men more often than it does women. 

Here's the thing:
My feelings are not hurt.

This young girl is so deeply insecure in herself that she needs to attack a complete stranger on the internet, and you know what? It's taken me a long time to say this, but here's what I learned from this exchange:
  1. I love my nose. Really and truly.
  2. I love my body. Really and truly.
  3. I love my mind. Really and truly.
  4. "Spoiled Brat" (aka @KingShatea) is a poor man's me, and at the end of the day, I will rise above and choose to love others rather than tear them down, especially my fellow women. 
We have it hard enough as it is, folks. Let's lift up. Let's encourage. Let's shoulder each other's burdens collectively. 

But I do reiterate: don't ever engage with someone who has given themselves the moniker "Spoiled Brat." It's a waste of your time.

Peace.
Stef.

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