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2017 - Week 20: BORED


Guys, I am BORED.

Not in the, "I need to find something to do for a minute while I wait for my pasta to finish boiling," sort of way. I'm bored in the, "oh my God, what am I doing with my life, you're just sitting there, not doing anything, and you need to do shit to get your life going but don't know how," sort of way.

It's probably my anxiety speaking, but I've reached a point at my current job where I've kind of hit my ceiling. I don't plan on being a Registered Dental Hygienist, a Registered Dental Assistant, or a Dentist, and there aren't really any leadership opportunities opening up for administrative staff. So I feel very stuck.

I crave more. More responsibility, more compensation, more challenge...

I just want... more.

It's a very strange way to feel and even stranger to describe. It almost makes me feel like a jerk. Oh, look at her, she's unhappy at a great job working for great people. Poor her.

But that's not it. I'm not "unhappy." My bosses are, really and truly, some of the best bosses I've ever had. We help people every day, and that's really great. And I'm making well above minimum wage, which is something that a great many people cannot relate to. I am unironically blessed.

But I am bored.

Now, some of you might chime in and say, "but hey, just a little bit longer, and you'll be going to nursing school! Just stick it out!"

Wellllllllll............... no, I won't. I made the decision not to pursue nursing a little while ago because I don't think it's the right career path for me. I would have been fine in nursing - I made all A's in my prep classes, and Anatomy & Physiology is definitely not a class to bat one's eye at. I'm smart enough to be a nurse, but I don't want to be a nurse.

And therein lies my largest problem.

I've stated on this blog here before that I am the quintessential "jack of all trades, master of none," and that has never been truer than right now in my life.

I get started on this really lofty projects, and I obsess over them until I feel comfortable with them. Once the challenge is gone, then I get bored, and I don't know how to keep that from happening. I guess this is one of the plights of being intelligent.

I'm aware that sounds like a humblebrag, but it actually isn't. Sure, I'm smart. Am I a genius? Absolutely not. But I'm smart enough to keep up with and learn pretty much anything that I set my mind to. I blame my parents for that intellectual capacity (also Obama, because I always enjoy finding new ways to use the "thanks, Obama" meme), but both of them were able to successfully find a career, stick with it, and make bank saving people's lives on a daily basis.

And then there's me.

I have a degree in operatic performance. I'm not using it.
I have a certification in Teaching English as a Foreign Language. I'm not using that either.
I am a skilled writer with a good set of stories to tell. I'm not doing anything with it.
I love languages and have a general understanding of 6+ languages. Not fluent in a single one.

What are you doing with your life, Stef?

I'll tell you what I'm doing:

NOTHING.

Obviously, I need to do some soul-searching. Because this is dumb as shit.

Peace.
Stef.

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