Ever since Hallmark and Kay Jewelers cashed in on the veritable feast of consumerism that occurs every year around February 14th, society has informed us - women specifically - that being single on Valentine's Day somehow made us deficient as human beings.
Why is that, I wonder?
Hello. My name is Stefanie.
I am 28 years old, I am single, and I am happy.
I have reached a point in my life when everyone I know is pairing off with significant others, getting married, having babies, and just general being all adult-like. But therein lies the rub. Why is it that I equate those things - marriage, children, etc. - to being activities that make one an adult?
I pay my bills on time and on a monthly basis, I have no debt*, I have life goals and career prospects. Why do I feel that I can't be a real, bonafide adult until I jump the life hurdles that society has told me are required to move from adolescent to adult?
The truth is that I am an adult. I am an adult, and I am single, and that is ok.
Maybe marriage isn't in the cards for me. Maybe there is something else better suited to my lifestyle and personality in The Plan that has yet to make itself known. Who knows? Why are we all so stressed out about this?
Being sad out of sheer jealousy on a holiday that celebrates something that is incredibly rare (true love) is not only ill-advised, but it is also self-debasing and self-destructive behavior.
After all is said and done, you are valuable. You are worth it, and just because you're single now doesn't mean that you'll be single forever (unless that's what you want, in which case, more power to you).
I personally am taking the day to spend time with one of my dearest and closest friends, but there are lots of ways that you can enjoy yourself.
- Pamper yourself. Instead of hiding in your apartment all day for fear of people judging you for being out in public all by your onesies, go out into the world and get a massage. Get a pedicure. Go see a movie by yourself (it's actually really great, trust me). Love quality time with yourself; you so rarely get the opportunity to do so.
- Have a fun night out with friends. Even though it may not feel like it, you are not the only single person in your friend group. You could also take this opportunity to spend time with someone you don't normally spend a lot of time with.
- Have a fun night in with yourself. Similar to #1, spend the night inside and catch up on that TV show you've been meaning to marathon. Read a book you've had in your "To Read" pile for a long time. Have a glass (or five) of wine. Enjoy yourself unapologetically.
- Treat it like any other Friday night. What would you be doing any other Friday night? Do that. This holiday doesn't have to drag you down or change your day at all.
How are you spending your Valentine's Day? Let me know in the comments section!
*I'm about to take on around $20,000 of debt because I'm going back to school for my Master's in Human Services. Oy. I'll just keep telling myself that there is, in fact, something such as "good debt." Excuse me while I go hide in a corner and sob uncontrollably.