Exercise #179 : Grocery Store Customer Comment Bulletin Board

My grocery store has a bulletin board for customer thoughts, and I love seeing the emotion and the quirkiness in so many of the comments. Here are a few I jotted down in my ever-handy notebook:
  • I adore the chicken pesto sausage. Please keep them until I die.
  • Please put a Whole Foods Market in Tampa, FL.
  • Why are your bathrooms always disgusting???
  • The decision to discontinue the sale of live lobster and crabs is RIDICULOUS
  • etc......
So the 5 minute writing exercise is this: in one to two sentences, what might the following characters write on a customer comment card in your supermarket?
  1. a harried young mother with twin toddlers who suffer from an allergy
  2. a retired diabetic on a strict budget
  3. an avid amateur chef
  4. an avid and extremely adventurous and accomplished chef
  5. someone who just found out that the favorite TV show has been canceled
  6. someone who just found this morning that they have won a law suit, and the settlement will add to their already substantial fortune
  7. a strict vegan and animal rights activist
  8. someone who knows she needs to get divorced but she just can't seem to get around to dealing with the paperwork
  9. a man who cooks for his pet poodle puppy
1,2,3, GO!!!

  1. Thank you... Just... thank you.
  2. I pay enough for gas as it is, and you have the audacity to charge me insane prices for your insulin? Not everyone has money coming out of their rear ends, you know.
  3. While I appreciate your selection of legumes, I can't help but be a little disappointed by your seafood. Please expand your products.
  4. This store is ridiculous and completely unsatisfactory.
  5. Must. Have. CHOCOLATE! *sob sob*
  6.  I want lobster! And caviar! And all of that fancy shit! Get it for me! I'm willing to pay!
  7. Stop selling meat! NOW!
  8. [this woman left no comment, because she doesn't want to write anything at all]
  9. More, better quality meat is needed. My little Fluffy requires top grade stuff, and you simply are not providing it.
What did you write?

Peace.
Stef.

Comments

From the vegan

"The slaughter of animals is shameful and disgusting. Must you honestly keep the ever so gently named DELI right next to the produce section? My favorite cucumbers and radishes come away with the stench of dead animal. If you cannot find it in your too small rock that you call a heart to move it, I and all of my vegan, vegetarian and just plain humanitarian friends will have to begin shopping elsewhere! Begin looking for examples of my disgust on YouTube!"
e.gajd said…
1. We love that you have put all your nut free products in one section!

2. Why can't you do for diabetics what you've done for the nuts?

3. Love your selection!

4. You don't have enough exotic mushrooms or fruits.

5. Life without 'Life' is less than it deserves to be.

6. Where's the beef?

7. Why the beef?

8. What's good to eat for procrastination? And don't say 'beef'!

9. My dog thinks your beef is the best in the city. Rocko thanks you!
Kelly said…
1. please don't put toys within arms reach of the shopping cart and please create a gluten free isle.
2. Why isn't the broccoli ever on sale? Other stores put it on sale every other week. I have to come here because this is within walking distance from my house. My children took the car from me - and all I want is affordable broccoli.
3. I can't seem to find the saffron on the international foods isle.
4. Great working with your butcher - the crocodile was delish.
5. Can you make the sign for the junk food a bit bigger?
6. Where can I find a great personal chef? That travels...
7. I find that you lack the right selection of organic, non process, unharmed in the picking - beets. please do something about that.
8. Do you sell arsenic?
9. Please stop putting the shellfish near the salmon "Muffin" is allergic.
mathew said…
1. You're paying for the shellfish incident.
2. Where are the sugar-free caramels? Did you sell out? Because I really do like sugar-free caramels. I NEED sugar-free caramels!!!
3. Hint: truffles are not fungi.
4. Hint: truffles are not candies.
5. I need something that's Yum-o, or I'm gonna cry.
6. I was going to shop here, but the deals were too good.
7. Your cow dissection poster made me barf. You might want to take care of that.
8. I ran out with a few things the cashier took too long to ring up. Sorry.
9. There was a mysterious mixture of food by the cow dissection poster and Roxy loved it! Where can I get more?

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