My grocery store has a bulletin board for customer thoughts, and I love seeing the emotion and the quirkiness in so many of the comments. Here are a few I jotted down in my ever-handy notebook:
- I adore the chicken pesto sausage. Please keep them until I die.
- Please put a Whole Foods Market in Tampa, FL.
- Why are your bathrooms always disgusting???
- The decision to discontinue the sale of live lobster and crabs is RIDICULOUS
So the 5 minute writing exercise is this: in one to two sentences, what might the following characters write on a customer comment card in your supermarket?
- a harried young mother with twin toddlers who suffer from an allergy
- a retired diabetic on a strict budget
- an avid amateur chef
- an avid and extremely adventurous and accomplished chef
- someone who just found out that the favorite TV show has been canceled
- someone who just found this morning that they have won a law suit, and the settlement will add to their already substantial fortune
- a strict vegan and animal rights activist
- someone who knows she needs to get divorced but she just can't seem to get around to dealing with the paperwork
- a man who cooks for his pet poodle puppy
- Thank you... Just... thank you.
- I pay enough for gas as it is, and you have the audacity to charge me insane prices for your insulin? Not everyone has money coming out of their rear ends, you know.
- While I appreciate your selection of legumes, I can't help but be a little disappointed by your seafood. Please expand your products.
- This store is ridiculous and completely unsatisfactory.
- Must. Have. CHOCOLATE! *sob sob*
- I want lobster! And caviar! And all of that fancy shit! Get it for me! I'm willing to pay!
- Stop selling meat! NOW!
- [this woman left no comment, because she doesn't want to write anything at all]
- More, better quality meat is needed. My little Fluffy requires top grade stuff, and you simply are not providing it.