Soft Things

Exercise # 155 : "Bumper Stickers"

The messages people plaster on their cars!

KNITTING IS SEXY. 

MY CHILD IS AN HONORS STUDENT. 

TRUST IN GOD SHE WILL PROVIDE. 

MY OTHER CAR IS A CADILLAC. 

And of course, political messages span the spectrum.

What's on your bumper? Your neighbor's? Colleagues's? Relatives? Friends? Have you seen any you thought amusing? Finally, for your fictional characters, make a list of the bumper stickers they might have on their cars.

1,2,3, GO!!!

I don't  have any bumper stickers on my current car, Gertie (a silver, 2005 Nissan Sentra). When I used to drive Gladys, the '95 Buick Century (she was named for her frumpy, old lady appearance... RIP, dear Gladys, for you are sorely missed), I had this awesome bumper sticker that said "VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL" in big, block letters that were reminiscent of a hippie poster. People would honk and pull up next to me, giving me the thumbs up or roll down their windows to tell me they thought my sticker was hilarious. I had never thought it was all that chuckle-worthy, but I guess it was in its own little way.

My Mom's bumper sticker reads as follows: "Regardless of their grades, my kids have an 'A' in my book." It's one of the response stickers to the snobby "My kid is an honor student" statements. I will say that I prefer the ones that say something like "My [insert dog breed or other quippy thing in which one can boast pride... or not] is smarter than your honor student."

When my sister drove her... I don't remember the make or model, but it was a car of sorts... and she drove it... Anyways, when she drove that car, I got her a Viva Las Vegas bumper sticker from... somewhere? All I remember, really, is that it had a picture of Elvis on it. Maybe I got it from when I lived in NY. The only problem with that is why would I buy a Las Vegas bumper sticker from New York City? It just seems silly. Maybe my sister was going through an Elvis phase? Obviously, my memory is not serving me at this point in time (but does it ever serve me, really?).

My dream bumper sticker is to have one that says "THE LEFT HAND LANE IS FOR PASSING, YOU DOLT!!!" or maybe my old 'turn signal' one that I mentioned earlier. I think that bumper stickers are the best way to let someone know that their driving habits annoy you.

This is why my idea of the electric bumper stickers should be invented. You can make preset phrases that, with the push of a button, can blink across the back of your car telling that jerk who's tailgating you to back the frick off, or let the person whose brights are shining directly into your eyes from your rearview mirror know that they are, in fact, blinding you. Best idea ever, right?

Only problem is that people would probably get into wrecks while setting up these phrases... and then I'd be sued for coming up with my otherwise awesome idea. Well, darn. Why can't people be more responsible drivers??? They ruin the fun for everyone.

END

What about you guys? What bumper stickers do you have? Have you seen any that have pissed you off or made you laugh so hard that you caught yourself veering off the road?

I hope everyone has (or has had) a lovely day!!

Peace.
Stef.