Exercise # 155 : "Bumper Stickers"
The messages people plaster on their cars!

KNITTING IS SEXY. 
MY CHILD IS AN HONORS STUDENT. 
TRUST IN GOD SHE WILL PROVIDE. 
MY OTHER CAR IS A CADILLAC. 
And of course, political messages span the spectrum.

What's on your bumper? Your neighbor's? Colleagues's? Relatives? Friends? Have you seen any you thought amusing? Finally, for your fictional characters, make a list of the bumper stickers they might have on their cars.

1,2,3, GO!!!

I don't  have any bumper stickers on my current car, Gertie (a silver, 2005 Nissan Sentra). When I used to drive Gladys, the '95 Buick Century (she was named for her frumpy, old lady appearance... RIP, dear Gladys, for you are sorely missed), I had this awesome bumper sticker that said "VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL" in big, block letters that were reminiscent of a hippie poster. People would honk and pull up next to me, giving me the thumbs up or roll down their windows to tell me they thought my sticker was hilarious. I had never thought it was all that chuckle-worthy, but I guess it was in its own little way.

My Mom's bumper sticker reads as follows: "Regardless of their grades, my kids have an 'A' in my book." It's one of the response stickers to the snobby "My kid is an honor student" statements. I will say that I prefer the ones that say something like "My [insert dog breed or other quippy thing in which one can boast pride... or not] is smarter than your honor student."

When my sister drove her... I don't remember the make or model, but it was a car of sorts... and she drove it... Anyways, when she drove that car, I got her a Viva Las Vegas bumper sticker from... somewhere? All I remember, really, is that it had a picture of Elvis on it. Maybe I got it from when I lived in NY. The only problem with that is why would I buy a Las Vegas bumper sticker from New York City? It just seems silly. Maybe my sister was going through an Elvis phase? Obviously, my memory is not serving me at this point in time (but does it ever serve me, really?).

My dream bumper sticker is to have one that says "THE LEFT HAND LANE IS FOR PASSING, YOU DOLT!!!" or maybe my old 'turn signal' one that I mentioned earlier. I think that bumper stickers are the best way to let someone know that their driving habits annoy you.

This is why my idea of the electric bumper stickers should be invented. You can make preset phrases that, with the push of a button, can blink across the back of your car telling that jerk who's tailgating you to back the frick off, or let the person whose brights are shining directly into your eyes from your rearview mirror know that they are, in fact, blinding you. Best idea ever, right?

Only problem is that people would probably get into wrecks while setting up these phrases... and then I'd be sued for coming up with my otherwise awesome idea. Well, darn. Why can't people be more responsible drivers??? They ruin the fun for everyone.

END

What about you guys? What bumper stickers do you have? Have you seen any that have pissed you off or made you laugh so hard that you caught yourself veering off the road?

I hope everyone has (or has had) a lovely day!!

Peace.
Stef.

Comments

Maria Zannini said…
I don't put any bumper stickers on my car, but one that made me laugh out loud was this one.

It sounded like payback for all the 'my kid is an honor student' stickers parents put on their cars.

'My border collie is smarter than your honor student.'
Lauralee said…
I just came across your blog. It is really cool and pretty funny. Layout is pretty awesome and I just did the most blog reading I'd done for a while. Very interesting. Had to become a follower. Your posts are really good. I don't have a bumper stick on my car. On my old car I had actual stickers of bands I didn't even know. Come check out my blog sometime if you'd like.
Diandra said…
Another strange thing... in Germany, people seem to use less bumper stickers. I can't recall my family ever having had bumper stickers.

However, my sister bought me a sticker which might serve as a bumper sticker (I don't know if it is weather-proof, and I don't have a car, therefore... *shrugs*). I like it, it says DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.
Dork Vader said…
Haha, I love funny bumper stickers. My favorite that I've seen was on one of those really boxy cars.
http://media.motortopia.com/files/8147/vehicle/47487f4a49353/100_3077h.jpg
It said, "Smile. You've just been passed by a toaster."
It was great.
(As a funny side note, you actually get a lot of results when you type 'toaster car' into google. Lolz)
Nicole said…
The electronic bumper sticker? It should be automated. Then you could change it quickly to suit your needs without crashing your car! It could be some little thing you plug into the cigarette lighter, like a satellite radio, for instance, then you push a button, it records your voice and translates it into text, which broadcasts on your bumper!
....though i can imagine there being some issues with profanity...

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