Skip to main content

Doris & Ted - Also, Weird Jobs

Exercise #150 : "Doris & Ted"

Doris just got fired because the manager, Ted, told everyone else in the restaurant that she is the world's most incompetent waitress. Ted now tries to convince Doris that it's really for the best. Write the scene in dialogue.

Hint: The most effective dialogue usually shows character, mood, relationship, and/or conflict.

1,2,3, GO!!

Ted: Doris, don't take it personally...

Doris: "Don't take it personally?" Are you nuts? How could I not?

T: Because...

D: Ah, I see. "Because." The world makes sense again. You know, you're really something.

T: Look, I didn't intend to upset you.

D: So you shouldn't have said that.

T: Look, I only said what I believed to be true.

D: (pause) You really think I'm incompetent.

T: Maybe incompetent wasn't really the best word to use...

D: What would the "best word" have been?

T: Doris, I really don't want to talk about this.

D: You know, Ted, if you wanted me off the staff, all you had to do was say so. You didn't have to go around talking about me to my co-workers.

T: I know.

D: You need to grow some balls. Seriously.

T: (under his breath) You're man enough for the both of us.

D: Excuse me?

T: Nothing.

D: For the both of us, huh? Fine. I'll be "the man" here. You think I'm incompetent? Well, you're the one who's incapable of performing his job on a daily basis.

T: Doris, this isn't about me.

D: No, Ted. It's about me. And that's exactly what I'm going to tell Ken.

T: Ken? Why would you talk to Ken? He's the General Manager. He doesn't have time for an ex employee.

D: He'll make time. I'm sure he'll want to know why one of his best employees was just canned.

T: He already knows. He okayed your dismissal.

D: That's bullshit, and you know it. At any rate, I'll be here tomorrow to speak with him.

T: He's not working tomorrow.

D: First things first, I don't believe you. Secondly, I will show up every single day until he talks to me. He needs to know what he's employing.


Good gravy, don't let me do anything to get on Doris's bad side! haha She is someone not to be trifled with.

So I got that job I posted about a little while ago! It's with a shipping company doing basic data entry, so I'm all for that. I swear, I'd like to live in a world where I got "normal jobs." I've only had 1 job where I wasn't doing something unexpected: Borders, selling books to uppity Brentwood snobs. My other jobs have been pet sitting, movie theater employee, etc. I've never worked in a restaurant, and I'm thinking this is a good idea. I just don't see myself doing well in that sort of environment.

What sort of weird jobs have you guys had?



Popular Posts

Soft Things

Exercise #105 : "Soft Things"
Make a list of soft things.


This should be easy enough, shouldn't it?

"Purple Things"

Exercise #28: "Purple Things"
What things are purple? Make a list.
EggplantsOne-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple People Eater (see below)Bruises (sometimes)a REALLY beautiful sunsetElizabeth Taylor's eyes (does violet count?)Barney (I love you, you love me...)GrapesLavendarOrchidsAmethystCabbage (sometimes)Lots of different birdsPlumsVioletsOnionsROYGBIVThat's all I can think of. You know, you don't really notice it, but purple appears quite frequently in nature. When I think nature, my mind immediately imagines greens, browns, and generally all kinds of neutral colors, but purple is everywhere. It's pretty awesome.

Without further ado, the One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley:

Great, huh? I don't remember when I was first introduced to this all-sorts-of-wonderful song, but I'm pretty sure it was care of my Mom. She definitely has provided quite a bit of the humor in my life, and I'm sure she's one of the big reasons…

"Yellow List"

Exercise #83 : "Yellow List"
What things are yellow? Make a list. At the end of the five minutes, note the three you find most curious.
Ah, yellow. One of my least favorite colors. I mean, it's nice and all, but there are so many versions of this color that are simply eye-raping. Anyways, on with the list.

Things That Are Yellow:
bananas school busesyellow bell peppertennis ballsPost Shredded Wheat boxes (see right)lemonscanariesthe middle traffic lighttraffic linesthe suncheddar cheesehaycornbuttercabs#2 pencilsgrapefruitraincoats (stereotypical ones, anyway)beessquashyellow jackets (I HATE those things!)the yolk of an eggscrambled eggs or an omeletpeanut M&Msthe Simpsonsvarious flowersrubber duckieetc...So that's my list of yellow things! :) The most curious? Well... I'll go with... but none of those are curious! That's silly.

Check back later today for my 5th Character Profile on Nolan Hansley, Estelle's father and Maxine / Madelyn's husband! Oooo…