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We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

This post may come off a bit emo, but... bear with me. If you want a post that has no touch of emo, then go HERE.

I had a realization the other day:

I am completely and 100%
OVER my ex.

Praise Jeeesuuuuuuus!

Now, I've had this "realization" before, and I think I've actually written about it on "52 Weeks" here. But there was something about this specific epiphany that really hit home for me.

I did a little math, and Ex-Boy broke up with me 9 months ago. 9 months. It feels like a lifetime has passed since then. I guess what they say about healing after a relationship is true: depending on how long you were together, it takes approximately 1/2 that time to recover. Ex-Boy and I were together for a year and 1/2. I have officially reached that half-way point, and I'm feeling really good. He and I still talk which is great, especially since I had been so concerned about losing someone who was that close to me.

All of that being said, I miss being in a relationship. I miss that closeness, that connection. I've actually narrowed it down to 5 different things I miss most.
  1. Having someone to text or call to express myself when I see something weird or hilarious out of the blue - This was something of which I took advantage. I remember the first month or so after we broke up, I'd see a kid take a fall off of his skateboard (don't worry; he was fine) and immediately pick up the phone and start typing a text explaining the hilarity of the situation to Ex-Boy. Then I'd realize that it wasn't ok for me to be doing that. Actually, knowing Ex-Boy, he would have been fine with it, but for my mental stability it wasn't a good idea. I really miss being able to do that.
  2. PDA - If you had asked Ex-Boy how I felt about PDA, he would say, without a single thought (but with an exaggerated roll of the eyes), "She hates it." And while I was in a relationship with him, I did. Nothing made me feel more awkward than to show any sort of affection in front of people, especially people I didn't know. But now I really miss walking through the park holding hands, leaning on someone in the middle of a movie, and maybe even getting a kiss or two just because I felt like it. Now, I'm not a fan of the people - you know the ones - who make you feel like you're witnessing an incredibly private moment between them, but I'm ok with a little bit of affection in public areas.
  3. Feeling free to act silly and dorky in front of that special person, to be my true self - I'm a goof, plain and simple. I let few people to see me like that, and I view this side as vulnerable and weak. It's a part of myself that I'm slowly allowing to enter into my everyday interactions with people, not acknowledging it as a weakness but simply a part of who I am. At any rate, I miss having that care-free feeling when being around that special someone who accepts you for who you are, despite your goofiness and flaws.
  4. Giving into my hopeless romantic ideals -I've told you guys before that I'm a hopeless romantic. This is one fact that I do not deny. Nothing gets me going more than a good love story filled with dramatic twists and turns, and I have a tendency to attempt to achieve these sort of happenings in my own life. Now, I don't go out of my way to create drama in a relationship - that would be love suicide - but I keep it all in my head (just like my inner crazy) and don't act upon these wild fantasies. Ah, if only I could have my very own Fitzwilliam Darcy........
  5. The feeling of falling in love - This is the one I miss the most. There is nothing better than that feeling. It's euphoria at its best, and I wouldn't trade all of the chocolate in the world for it. Yeah, it's that serious.
So what do you like best about being in a relationship? If you'd rather focus on the singledom, what's your favorite part about being single?

Peace.
Stef.

Comments

Diandra said…
Sometimes I miss being single. Especially since we moved in together. I miss having my own rhythm, not having to worry about someone else but me, doing whatever I want whenever I want...

...

... but there are so many things I love about the BF that I guess I can live with that. I love having someone around me who makes me laugh (by shouting SNAKE!!! everytime he puts something into the laundry basket, or by singing "A window cat, a window cat..." to the sound of "The lion sleeps tonight" or by... well... *g*). I love not being alone at night (he insists on bringing me to bed every night, even if he will stay up for several more hours), I love eating together, even if it's in front of the TV and something as plain as pizza, I love making plans together and simply being lazy and going grocery shopping together and...

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