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Tough Grandma

Exercise #136 : "Tough Grandma"

This is an exercise to help make a character more vivid. In what ways is "Grandma" tough? Make a list; be as specific as you can. Then, once you have finished, go back and circle the three best items on the list.

I've had a picture collecting virtual dust on my computer's hard drive for I don't even know how long (I thought it was humorous), and I have finally realized that I have kept it (unwittingly) for the purpose of this very post. Now, it might be a bit crude for some of you, but I guess I'm willing to run that risk.

Ah, classic. I love it. There's nothing better and more hilarious than a bad-ass Grandma.

Anyways, here goes.

1,2,3, GO!
  • She uses the finger liberally.
  • She goes out and does extreme sports like snowboarding surfing, and she does it well. She can out-surf and out-snowboard even the locals.
  • She was once almost mugged, but she scared him away by simply giving him an evil glare (and making use of the middle finger, of course).
  • She knows people in the mafia, and they're afraid of her.
  • She eats steak for breakfast. Rare.
  • She was in the army and led an entire company by herself to control a complete area that was previously controlled by the opposing forces.
  • She has 3 tattoos: 1) a skull and crossbones, naturally; 2) the letters P, A, I, & N across her right knuckes; and 3) a dragon that runs up and down the left side of her ribcage.
  • She says what is on her mind at all times and rarely holds back, even if it means hurting the person with whom she is speaking.
I kept thinking of Chuck Norris Facts throughout this entire list. hah I mean, he is the epitome of "tough," right? His tears do cure cancer... You know, it is really too bad that he never cries. heh

In other news, I finished Animal Husbandry more quickly than I had planned. Expect a review in the next few days.

Next up on the book list? If Singleness Is a Gift, What's the Return Policy? I've had this book for at least 4-5 years but have never read it. Ridiculous, says I. I don't know what my deal is with these singleness-based books lately, but I guess it's helping... Maybe?

Over the past few weeks or so, I have noticed that I've become a raging cynic. 2 weekends ago, my world was completely engulfed by joyous couples. On the Saturday of that weekend, there were 2 weddings. 2 separate weddings. On the same day, there were 3 different engagement announcements. Then, the next day there was another engagement announcement. SERIOUSLY??? It's possibly because I'm still bitter about my breakup (c'mon, Stef, just move on, already...), but I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with it. It's not that I want to be with B. anymore. I understand that the ship has passed, and honestly, it was for the best. It's the fact that every time I listen to the radio there's some jewelry ad playing and reminding me that I was there once. There was a time when I would hear these ads and smile, thinking that I was going to be getting an engagement ring soon, but I'm no longer in that place. Not only that, but I'm just not sure I'll be there again.

Sure, it may sound like I have a defeatist attitude, but I'm thinking in terms of my career here. I'm planning on singing opera professionally, and it is a career that requires a large amount of travel over great distances for lengthy time frames. Marriage is hard enough as it is; adding that element would be marital suicide. So what's the point, really?

The fact that I'm thinking in accordance with my career doesn't make hurt any less, though. I was really excited about entering into a new part of my life, a part that I would be sharing with someone else and to know that this person would always be there for me. But I'm just not certain that it's going to happen for me anymore.

Ok, enough of this emo, sad-sack talk. It's time to head off here. Positive thinking makes it happen!



Unknown said…
That's a bad ass grandma!!!!

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