Skip to main content

She's Always Late

Exercise #113 : "She's Always Late"

Why is she "always" late? What are three things she's actually been on time for? If you have time, describe her purse.

GO!

I'll tell you who is always late. My Mom (pictured right). I love the woman. Really,I do. But she is never on time! I can't even begin to list the times where I have waited around for her to get her stuff together.

An example? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Last year, Thanksgiving. I was working (such is the life of a dog walker), so I had specific times where I had to be at work.

"What time do we need to eat, Stef?" she asked me.

"Well," I said, "I have to be at work at 2 o'clock, so probably sometime around noon."

"Ok, we can do that."

Apparently not.

I get to my house around 11am, and my Dad and sister haven't even gotten out of bed. My Mom is in the shower, and I'm just sitting there, waiting for something to get done. In retrospect, I probably could have done something to speed things along, but I was so frustrated that I wasn't thinking straight. I sat there for an hour, two hours... At around 1pm, things were finally being prepared. Too bad I had to leave at 1:30 to make it to work on time.

That being said, I got a tiny bite of corn bread at 1:30 and immediately left for East Nashville and the dozen of dogs that were waiting for me to let them out and feed them. Get this, though. My Mom had the audacity to be mad at me for leaving! MAD! I gave her accurate times, did I not? Sure, it was Thanksgiving, but I had to be a responsible adult and work.

As far as my Mom's purse... It has everything in it. Floss, makeup, incendiary devices... hah Not really. She has one of those purses that has very useful items in it, though. If I catch myself out of my house with her and in need of something I can ask her for it, and chances are it's on her person somewhere.

Oh, Mom. I love you, but you're crazy.

The scary part is that I am becoming more and more like her as the years pass...

Lord, give me strength!

Peace.
Stef.

Comments

JujuJuniper said…
She is going to HATE you for that picture, small one.
Stef said…
Why? It's not a bad picture. :-P I think she looks pretty.

Popular posts from this blog

Soft Things

Exercise #105 : "Soft Things"
Make a list of soft things.

GO!!!

This should be easy enough, shouldn't it?

"Yellow List"

Exercise #83 : "Yellow List"
What things are yellow? Make a list. At the end of the five minutes, note the three you find most curious.
Ah, yellow. One of my least favorite colors. I mean, it's nice and all, but there are so many versions of this color that are simply eye-raping. Anyways, on with the list.

Things That Are Yellow:
bananas school busesyellow bell peppertennis ballsPost Shredded Wheat boxes (see right)lemonscanariesthe middle traffic lighttraffic linesthe suncheddar cheesehaycornbuttercabs#2 pencilsgrapefruitraincoats (stereotypical ones, anyway)beessquashyellow jackets (I HATE those things!)the yolk of an eggscrambled eggs or an omeletpeanut M&Msthe Simpsonsvarious flowersrubber duckieetc...So that's my list of yellow things! :) The most curious? Well... I'll go with... but none of those are curious! That's silly.

Check back later today for my 5th Character Profile on Nolan Hansley, Estelle's father and Maxine / Madelyn's husband! Oooo…

"Purple Things"

Exercise #28: "Purple Things"
What things are purple? Make a list.
EggplantsOne-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple People Eater (see below)Bruises (sometimes)a REALLY beautiful sunsetElizabeth Taylor's eyes (does violet count?)Barney (I love you, you love me...)GrapesLavendarOrchidsAmethystCabbage (sometimes)Lots of different birdsPlumsVioletsOnionsROYGBIVThat's all I can think of. You know, you don't really notice it, but purple appears quite frequently in nature. When I think nature, my mind immediately imagines greens, browns, and generally all kinds of neutral colors, but purple is everywhere. It's pretty awesome.

Without further ado, the One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying, Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley:



Great, huh? I don't remember when I was first introduced to this all-sorts-of-wonderful song, but I'm pretty sure it was care of my Mom. She definitely has provided quite a bit of the humor in my life, and I'm sure she's one of the big reasons…