"Rollercoaster Ride"

Exercise #68 : "Rollercoaster Ride"

From the point of view of the person riding in the front row of the car, describe a rollercoaster ride. Then go back and see how you can revise to make the sound and rhythm of the writing reinforce the meaning.

Click, click, click. The rollercoaster car slowly made its ascent up the steep incline, jerk, jerk, jerking upward. My hands clenched the arm rests, and my heartbeat raced. Thump, thump, thump. As the car neared the peak, the tension hanging in the air was palpable. A young couple sitting behind me gabbed about how the ride was "awesome" and "totally amazing." Oh, goody, I thought. They're going to be fun to ride in front of. Of course, it was better to be in front of overly talkative people than it was to be in front of someone who got sick by the swaying and rolling movement and spewed their lunch all over the back of my head.

The line of cars slowed down as I neared the drop off point. There was an audible gasp as we stopped, and finally, release. The wind swept through my hair, pounding against my face, whirling around my body, and for the briefest of moments, I feel completely weightless.


I think I started that one a little bit later along in the storyline than I should have. I kind of ran out of things to say. Oh well... What's done is done. hehe



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