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"Pjugsarkjan Breakfast"

Exercise #6: "Pjugsarkjan Breakfast"
Pjugsarkian is an imaginary language; feel free to make up whatever words and phrases serve your purposes.
The exercise is this: a tourist, who speaks only a very few words of Pjugsarkian (and my also mispronounce them) orders breakfast in his (or her) hotel from a waiter (or waitress) who understands and speaks only a tiny bit of English. Write the scene with both description and dialogue.

Oh, Lord help me with this one. I beg all of you for mercy, for this will probably be horrendous in the truest sense of the word... I have always believed that, once a person has learned more than 2 languages, it's extremely difficult for them to create a new language spur-of-the-moment like (unless you're Tolkien, that is...), and being that I speak English and French, am conversational with Italian and am in the process of learning German, Russian, etc... Well, not easy.

When I was in theatre class in high school, there was an exercise that we would do where we would play people who were natives of an imaginary country who spoke a nonsensical language. I sucked at it. Big time. So once again... Bear with me. Please.

PRECURSOR: My character is not in a hotel. She's hopelessly lost. So blah... And my language is based off of the romantic languages, because I understand them best of all and... it just makes sense.

.....Louise held up her map, desperately trying to figure out where she is. The paper crinkled in her hands as she attempted to pinpoint her location, but the words swam across the map, scurrying up and down the alleyways and confusing the hell out of her.
.....Ok, she thought. Maybe there's someone around here who could tell me where I am.
.....To her immediate left was what looked to be a cafe, La Crateea Damoseic (The Turtledove Cafe), so she went inside hoping for a bit of guidance.
.....She sat down at the nearest table and peered at their menu. Once again, the words warped and flew around the page. She was making a very perplexed face when the waiter came up to her.
....."Meladmi, Horosi," he said. Welcome, Miss. "Idmo quiesti mi dramact?" What can I get for you?
....."Actually... uh..." she stammered. "Mi perdani - uh - perdana." Me lose - uh - lost.
.....The waiter looks nonplussed.
.....Ok, she thought. I'll try again. "Mi no trova ma vilosi." Me no find my ways.
.....Still, the waiter looked at her incredulously. "No mi comperedi." I don't understand.
....."Mi, uh, mi viu vane cititsh." Me, uh, me want find here, she said as she pointed to a circled point on the map - her hotel. "Ti voca a mi quoed elest?" You tell to me where is?

5 minutes up... Uh... That was... interesting? I mean, it was a mind-stretcher, that's for sure. But successful? I don't quite know. I spent WAY too much time thinking about the grammatical rules of the language which I guess I shouldn't have done, but oh well. I'm ok with it.

Um... Ok. Done.

Peace.
~Stef

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