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I haven't had a real vacation in several years. I've taken a day off here or there for personal learning opportunities like podcasting conferences or the occasional sick days, but I haven't been able to fully disconnect in much longer than I'd like to admit.

I've scheduled an entire week off in October, and I'm already starting to stress about it. We have someone new starting at work to help shoulder some of the load on October 7th, which means I'll have a mere 3 weeks to get her as fully spun up as I can before I'm gone for a week. Luckily, there are some other teammates available to help provide guidance in my absence, so everything should be covered. The goal is to not look at my email or internal messaging client a single time while I'm out (except I will check email once per day because I don't want to come back to 5 million emails in my inbox).

But the thought of completely disconnecting for a week stresses me out.
Why is that?
I recently r…
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52 Weeks of Absence

So it hasn't quite been 52 weeks, but we're closing in on it.

I've been busy. Crazily busy. Of course, that's no excuse for failing to write, but luckily, I have been writing! I just haven't been posting it here.

Last year, I wrote about how I'd lost confidence in my writing, and while I'm still getting some of that confidence back I've made some pretty fantastic progress. I've thrown myself into the world of audiofiction both as a writer and voice actor, and I'm pretty sure I've finally found my niche.

I've always struggled with descriptive writing, and my dialogue has been my strong point for as long as I can remember. Normally, that would simply mean that I'd need to suck it up and practice writing descriptively to get better, but I found that practicing had little to no effect on the quality of my output. Every time I tried to describe a scene, I'd find that even I didn't know what it looked like. The only sort of descrip…
"First off," I say, "I don't remember you being British the last time we talked, bud." This dude - whoever he is - has just popped up all random-like in the middle of my house, and he wants me to do him a favor? He's got another thing coming.

"It's part of the agreement, innit?" he posits, his London dialect dripping with condescension. "Contract terms stated I'd hold on to your soul until I found a use for it. Well, I've found a use."

"Come on, man." I say. "Not fair. I'm right in the middle of something."

"The contract doesn't care if you're in the middle of something, Evan." The Devil leans against a wall, picking dirt from underneath his fingernails.

"You can't give me, like, a month or something to clear it up?"

"Unfortunately, no," he says. "Don't you want to know what the favour is?"

"Not particularly." I honestly don't care.…

The Dystopia We All Deserve

I remember a time when the gas masks weren't necessary. Back then, we could traverse the world without so much as a second thought for the air we were breathing, the fear of airborne toxins and thin atmosphere not even the tiniest of blips on our radar. It had all been so simple: wake up, go to school or work, go home, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Back when I was young, the overwhelming terror that held the world captive had been global warming: holes in the ozone layer caused by cans of hairspray and melting ice caps were going to kill us all. There had also been the looming possibility of nuclear war, but most of us preferred to shove that inevitability as far under the rug as we could.

Never once did any of us suspect what actually would transpire. Well, most of us didn't have a clue anyway.

The morning had started unremarkably. I was riding my bike to school when an entire fleet of chinooks flew overhead, their thunderous din boxing my ears with their proximity. I had ne…

The Door

"The door at the end of the hallway must never be opened," the old woman said, her milky white eyes nearly hidden by the sagging skin around her eyes. "The last time someone tried was back when I was a child."

Moving Forward

As I'm sure you've noticed, my writing has been... lacking as of late. Not meaning that I haven't been posting quality writing; I just haven't been posting at all. Whoopsies.

To be honest, I've lost confidence in my writing. I'm still fighting to take back my power from my previous relationship, and I've discovered that it's so much harder than previously anticipated. When you spend 5+ years with someone who tells you constantly that you're untalented and worthless, it's incredibly difficult to regain a sense of "yeah, I can do this." You doubt every step of the way, and that makes the battle all the more difficult.

So that's where I am.

Now, I am better. By quite a bit. Still a work in progress, and I don't foresee that changing drastically anytime soon.

And that's ok.

All of that being said, I am really itching to get back into regular writing. Not only do I have #NaNoWriMo to prepare for as well as a few other projects t…

Where were you?

9th grade. Study hall.
All of the TVs were on.
World forever changed.
#wherewereyou #neverforget
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